by torahgirl
When does Shabbat end? Is it when the sun goes down? When you can see three stars? The moment the havdalah candle is extinguished? This is a tricky question. But does it matter exactly when Shabbat ends? Is it enough to say “Saturday night”?
Determining your halachah regarding the conclusion of Shabbat is sometimes necessary, especially when a social schedule is involved. For instance, when can we meet friends at a restaurant Saturday evening? Maybe we could have dinner technically “during” Shabbat, because after all we won’t pay for it until long afterward. Or could we leave our house before Shabbat and arrive at the restaurant around havdalah time? Or do we have to wait until after havdalah to even leave our house… since we leave the house other times on Shabbat, that shouldn’t be an issue, right?
{Side note: is it right to be seen in a place of commerce on Shabbat? What about taking a casual stroll through the mall? Would it be alright to see a movie if your friend is paying for it?}
There has to be a consistent guideline. If you wait for each situation to come along, the result will be a haphazard Shabbat practice and no clear testimony to others.
The question of ending Shabbat downshifts in priority when you change the focus of Saturday night. Where should the focus be? The sages talk about a particular feeling of sadness after minchah prayers as the Sabbath slowly begins to depart. If we are savoring each moment of the seventh day, we’ll want to stretch it out as long as possible – delaying the start the “work week,” clinging to the inherent peace of Shabbat instead of asking “how soon can I leave?” or “when is it over?”
I love the concept of being so deep in Torah study that you truly don’t want to see the Sabbath leave and might go far beyond the scheduled havdalah time. There’s a big difference between exclaiming “finally!” or “already?” during havdalah. Which response do you normally have?
=)
Rachel Allison
battzion12
knitbyHim
cndllighter
eshetkayil
Hergenreter
Christine Alexander
seeandimprove
talmeedahofyeshua
torahgirl
Candlelighters 
This is something I battle with each Shabbat. Because my family does not observe Torah, they usually like to do all their shopping and household chores on this day, and then end it by eating out or walking around town. I, however, want to treat this day as holy because that is what HaShem commanded. When my mom brings home the groceries, I grieve internally, because I know I must eat, but I know that YHWH comes first. But I also know that He honors my devotion to His Word, and that He understands my difficult situation.
The times when my parents want us to go out for dinner Saturday evening, I usually agree to this, because by the time we get to the restaurant the sun is almost down.
I do what I can, all the while hoping that one day my situation will change 🙂