by torahgirl

Mindfulness requires that we pay attention, not only to huge earth-shattering events but also to tiny details like the way we respond to situations. Mindfulness depends on seeing clearly – seeing truth – without “vision clouded by habitual responses.” {p.79}

Rabbi Slater questions whether meditation is effective in helping us connect mindfully with others. He points out that meditation is very personal, focused on the person practicing, {usually} in an attempt to withdraw from the world. I agree! I like the idea of reflection instead… perhaps taking time at the end of a day to reflect on what transpired and look at our responses objectively.

Ever since “it is not good for man to be alone,” we have had relationships with the people around us. Some would say that we have a responsibility to transform the world for the benefit of all. The Torah instructs us how to interact with others – what our responsibility is to family members, neighbors, strangers, even enemies.

To investigate and understand the workings of the world are glorious endeavors. That is our charge. We can come to a deeper comprehension of the world and our place in it, as well, through the study of Torah. [...] Thus, if the goal or outcome of mindfulness practice were to remove us from engagement with the world, it would be a betrayal of Jewish life and tradition.
-p.81

Mindfulness begins with an internal focus. It applies to our hearts, motivations, and attitudes. But the goal is to control our external responses through accurately understanding the events happening around us, to “experience our lives with less anxiety, stress, or contention” {p. 82}, and to continually demonstrate compassion.

Rabbi Slater gets down to a practical level in this chapter. To practice mindfulness, he says the key question is “What is the truth of this moment?” I have to confess I’ve never asked myself this question! He gives an example of a time when he was studying. He asked himself, what is the truth of this moment? The answer was, “I am sitting here; there is noise; there is anger” {p. 82}. Looking at how he perceived the moment, we can tell he is frustrated because he’s trying to focus but there are distractions. His point in this example is that our first response to a situation is normally not true  – we tell ourselves a “story.” He has unconsciously created a self-centered story about the inconsiderate people around him and made himself unhappy. What is the truth? “There is sound.” See the difference?! When he simply recognizes “sound,” he is able to let go of his instinctive reaction and ignore the interruption.

I thought that example was fascinating. The practice of mindfulness really started to make sense to me! “Until we can see the habits of our mind, we are trapped, bound to react without control, harming ourselves and others, digging ourselves deeper and deeper into those patterns of thought and feeling.” {p.84} Interestingly, Rabbi Slater goes on to talk about how King David also has a habitual response to suffering. “I am imprisoned,” “I am cut off,” “I am numbered with those who go down to the Pit” – these statements express David’s feeling of abandonment or desperation. Are they true? No, of course not! If he truly had no hope, why does he pray?

Mindfulness is seeing G-d in each moment. Ask yourself, “How can I see G-d in what causes me discomfort/disgust/displeasure?“

…when I am challenged by someone else’s behavior I first ask, “How am I like that person?” I look at my habitual responses, and seek that which stimulates my reaction, some what in which I am like that which offends me. I can then see how my reaction is an attempt to hide from my own flaw by attacking it in another. It is not easy, but when I recognize that in me, rather than cringing in shame, I try to open my heart to accept it, with compassion. In that manner, I can begin the process of change, to repair the flaw.
-p.93

Start to notice how you respond. Ask yourself what is true. Substitute intention for inclination. Remember our mortality, that “ultimately, against your will you will have to face the truth and be accountable for the ways in which you allowed your habitual responses to cloud your vision…” {p.108}. The chapter ends with a reminder that the opportunity to wake up and see clearly is always before us.

=)